A great friend of mine invited me to attend a pre-screening of the documentary, Arabia 3D, in the Museum of Natural History. While on my lunch break from work, I visited House of Kabob in Dupont. The above plate was only $7.10!! So much food, no waiting for it to be given to me, it tasted great and it was cheap. This place is def a winner in my book.

Anyways after work, I met up with my friend at the museum and I enjoyed the film. It was excellent! I felt as  though I visited it myself. The sand seemed as if it was right within reach. The effects, graphics, transitions, entire cinematography was on point. The material was informative yet entertaining, the artist definitely achieved his goal. Go see it, if you can!

After the film and our great middle eastern dinner (gotta keep the theme goin!) we took the good ol 70 bus uptown. Remember my previous gripes about this damn bus? There was a nut case in front of me and one behind me. The one in front happens to be the woman in the center background of my photo above. These two young innocent ladies in the photo sat between her and I. below is the dialogue that ensued:
Chick to the left is chick 1 and one to the right is chick 2. The crazy lady is Elmo.

Chick 1 goes on about the bus driver flirting with her...Chick 2 jokingly tells her to tap that, chick 1 of course laughs and is like hell no. Elmo enters the scene.

Elmo: "blababababwehdefhugfybbendkhdxlhefgwefnkg!! aaaagbiwegfkeuberkygfnkegflkgurgfbkuhk!!!!"(shouting gibberish like the tasmanian devil at Chick1)
Chick1: "oh my god why the fuck did i come on this bus?"
Elmo looks at her in utter disgust and says: "bdfgksnufkufgtdkjrg.mldhhk,jkhik!!! dukfhkdnhgdfhkjgfj,vhkjmhrjk!!! dkufhukjgjrfhnfgdfkjgdngkgjjh!!! dgfefghkm,hjltjkjbkm,!!!"
Chick 2, my friend and I laugh sooo hard we couldn't breathe.
Chick1: "can we move to the back?"
Chick2: "no! we gotta stay here"
Chick1: "oh c'mon! we can take the train, look there's the stop!"
Elmo: "bsdlfhefihnukfthfkyvuk!!!! dkfgrukngteruvhrklhrhl!!"
Crazy man sittin behind me: "Yall done did it now! she put the ghost on you!"
(Crazy man continues talking foolishness but we were laughing so hard, its inaudible at this point)
Chick2: "no, the bus gets us much closer than the train, you know that"
Elmo: "wkehnrjchgtcjhvjvvhm,jghkghm,kjhmfkjnmkjhbghmhhk,jhmgjhfjhg,jhmjmjmjjgjfgnbghjn,jb,j" 
Chick1: "come oooonnn!"
Chick2: "nope" (struggling to keep a stern voice)
Elmo: "kfugdufgnughrihvlimvhill!!!!" "dfugkhfgvkfjngkhn!!" "kdugfberhgejgefgrejgnrmgrngbrjgbmjgrnmgru!" "kuehnukwehncrhjrghrkrmgk,hm,kfhgmfjnrgvjhfkjghfmkjhkghghmfkghkhnkfnhmkfhkvhkmhvrihthrth!!!"
We are all in stitches laughing so damn hard!!
Chick1: "wtf! I'm one of the only 3 white people on this bus AND i'm standing while everyone's sitting. Fuckin Elmo over here hates me and everyone's staring. So fucking transparent. Its just a big fuckin show!"
We all laugh sooooo much harder at this point!! Tears are streaming down my face now. She notices, laughs and fans my face for me to get some air.
Elmo: "bdfuwrngfukcr,hmu!!" "eurnhfu,jnh!"
The Chicks start saying a photo needs to be snapped. In between laughs, I tell em I got it and pull my phone out to snap the photo you see above.

We finally calm down and Elmo exits stage right err I mean gets off the bus. The chicks and I talk and realize we are all from New England and they tell me they want to start a blog about DC life. I told em I already have one and they will def get featured next! Hopefully they see this! I don't even know if this post captures the hilarity but hey I tried!

Ever felt like your day has been so bad or boring you wanna hop on a plane right now? Need to just get away?
 We all feel this way sometimes...I have had some friends say they feel this way and well I do sometimes too. You wanna know what I do when I feel like this? I leave. I hop on a cheap china bus to New York and see my family or I go to a friend's house and chill.

On the days when i'm either broke or dont wanna see or speak to another human being...I put my cellphone on silent (keywords here, take notes--your phone must go off or silenced to achieve peace). Don't worry it's only off for a few hours til you feel a lil less crazy. And I TAKE A WALK.

Simply walking alone in silence with no real destination in mind...just looking at all that's around you, engulfing yourself in the moment no thought concerning your past or future...or present. Just walk.

If you're not a walker:

• Stay home and watch tv/surf the net/be lazy simply cuz you can
• Excercise
• Read a book you've been meaning to
• Go get your hair/nails/eyebrows done (or do it yourself)
• Write a bucket list and,on there, create one thing you can do right now
• Write about a magical place you would rather be than here (sounds corny but it works)
• Clean/redecorate/reorganize your living space
• Clean up your computer/email inbox
• Take yourself on a date with yourself (im serious) (movies, dinner, the works)
• Pray to whoever you believe in and trust them.

Remember you're crazy just like everyone else so dont feel bad. Theres no such thing as normal. We all have bad days and well, now you have ideas of what to do.

I was in the metro station waiting for my train home. I noticed a group of young hooligans on one side of the platform and a lil ol lady on the other. Naturally, I decided to wait near the old lady.
Sitting on the bench in silence...

"I was in lock down you know?!". Silence is broken. Not wanting to egg her on, I quietly stare at the train tracks. "yes girl I was in lock down mhm n I just got out. They had them some bed bugs too. I was glad when I left. I can do whatever I want. Go where I want, when I want." (I pray for God to send my train. I look at the monitor it says 12 more minutes.)

"2012, thats the year. You know whats gonna happen?" She pauses for me to respond...(not wantin to piss her off, I answer) "umm no, no I dont." "Well lemme tell you girl, the planets are gonna line up. On one side of earth we gonna freeze and the other half gonna blow up." (oh dear god. where is my train??) " you should research it for me. find out the day and come report it to me" (train get over here now!!). Desperate to shut her up without upsetting her, I compliment her. "you know what? Im not as smart as you. clearly you already know whats gonna happen in 2012, why dont YOU go and find out the day?" (im a genius! She smiled) "yeaaaaaa u right... imma do that" (train pulls up, thank you jesus!)

I wait and see what train car she gets on and hop on a different one.

Ok so maybe i'm crazy but this situation creeped me out. I figure this character is a socially awkward person who may have been trying to hit on me...or a psycho who was hoping to kill me and eat my eyeballs for dinner....either way...it was creepy.

Heading home, after a long day at work, I picked up a couple  groceries.Walking home with my bags...I heard the man behind me whistling a tune.  I continued walking, not paying any attention to it. He asked to help me with my bags, I politely declined.

He asked where I was coming from. Not in the mood for talking, I wondered whether or not the groceries gave any clue as to where I was. I simply muttered "work". He commented that I must've had a long day and its so hot outside, surely I should want help. I told him no. He insisted it would be his pleasure to help and "he thinks we are walking the same way anyway". Feeling like I might be too mean and he was right, it was hot and I was tired....I said ok and handed him a bag. He went on to ask if I take the alley home. I said no, only main roads. He explained that I should because its faster. I told him no. He laughed and started to walk towards the alley with my bag. Infuriated, I told him to stop right now and hand me my bag. He stopped in his tracks, looked at me, handed me back my bag and said "next time I'll get you earlier" and winked.


oh sigh apparently the freaks come out in the day too...

Sorry i'm taking so long to write lately, life has gotten a lil busier for me. Any how, i'm sure your entertainment caused by my silly adventures/misadventures more than makes up for it. So last weekend was my friend's...lets call her Licious...birthday. She requested that a bunch of us celebrate her bday by spending the day at Virginia Beach. Little did we know...what lay ahead....


I swear the beach isn't even on planet Earth! We drove forever and a day!!! We hit sooo much traffic, its really not even slightly believable. The a/c in the car was broken and unfortunately rolling down the windows only produced more heat...sigh...I  couldn't tell whether I fell asleep or fainted from heat exhaustion...

HOWEVER, I must admit that not only did we have an amazing driver who did her best to get us there quickly and safely but we also had a BLAST once we got to the beach! OMG! It was soooo fun! I loved it! We jumped around in the water as the waves crashed into us, knocking us over. We sat around on our towels, drank some brewskies, painted our nails and joked around. We also played soccer on the sand and watched a kiddie beach volleyball tournament. It was the most fun I have had in a while.

The Ride Back...
The ride back was um crazy....for lack of better words. Everyone including our driver was dead tired, no joke. So as she drove, she decided to pull over and take a power nap at a gas station parking lot.  I woke up to my friends screaming, bright lights flooding the car and our driver speeding and making a wild u turn in the street. I asked what happened. Apparently a man in a red pick up truck parked beside us in the lot and watched us sleep. Now he was tailgating us with his high beam lights on. I. was. scared. He revved his engine and sped up to our rear as if he was going to hit us but didn't. We turned and he turned, we sped up, he sped up. We went on the highway, he went on the highway. Luckily after some time had passed, he exited. The rest of the drive was thankfully uneventful. Once, home, all I could do was collapse on the bed. Making it back home felt oh so good.

Yesterday at lunch, I found a penny in my chili fries.I got em at a place called hard times cafe...go figure!

I had a bad allergic reaction recently.  Unfortunately the closest hospital for me is located en el "ghetto", I walked in, and took up the paperwork to get registered...the secretary handed me a pencil. He ran out of pens.So I took a seat close to the television but away from the strangers in the waiting room. Quite contentedly watching the Lady Gaga interview on Larry King Live...I get interrupted. A young fool has decided to try to woo me. 
If I could have taken a picture of him or videotaped him without getting into trouble...trust me I would have, and added it to this blog entry. He is wearing plaid long shorts sagged to show off his briefs (not even boxers), sunglasses (its 9pm, mind you),  an over sized Hawaiian print shirt which he left unbuttoned to reveal his chest, black boots with white socks protruding at the ankle. He also wore a black felt hat with a feather in the brim. Are you picturing it in your head yet? Yea it was quite a sight.  As he stood in front of me smiling, I refused to acknowledge his presence. I was way too sick to care to deal with him.  He proceeded to sit in the seat facing me and started to sing. He sounded like a car dying. He sang the same line over and over for about twenty minutes before his eye caught another woman to prey on. Thank God! He ran over to her and sang the same thing again "wait til i touch that body girl ummmhmmm...." he just sings that same line over and over! She laughed and he decided to do a lil dance routine....youtube worthy...a crazy mixture of a wanna be breakdance, temptations-esque dip n twirl and only god knows what else. The security guard clearly grew tired of the torture and told him to sit down and be quiet. What a relief!

Sooo earlier this week, I went to my usual salon to see my usual stylist to get my routine haircare. I call in the morning when I wake up to make sure she is there that day and all is well for me to see her later. Guess what happened? I got there and she wasn't there. Had to run an errand and would be back for at least twenty minutes but I didnt have time to spare. I had to be at work in two hours and it takes about that much time to relax, wash, treat, trim, flat iron and style my hair. Oh sigh. I couldnt go to work with the lion's mane I had on my head either sooo I went ahead and let another stylist work on it. I was so nervous, I literally teared up. I am very sensitive when it comes to my hair, one screw up and I will hate you for life. It is my hair, it is on my head, it frames my face, it HAS to be on point! She started to relax it and mid relaxer, she asks if I have ever had jerri curls....I knew right then I was doomed. Jerri curl? Its 2010, what does a jerri curl have to do with anything?  (thats what I thought, but what I actually said was no I dont have them nor have I ever and I dont want them, thank you). My hands began to shake because that question solidified that she was gonna screw up my hair! Lucky for me, my stylist came running through the door and I hopped out of that chair and told the lady bye. I couldnt have been happier :)

Have you ever hunted for a place to live in DC? It is QUITE the experience! Here are some facts to consider:
1. At the time I was fresh outta college and just as broke as I was in college
2. Didn't really have much furniture (well....any actually. I sold it n that's another story, don't ask)
3. Didn't have a car so need it to be metro accessible
4. I was on crutches because I sprained my knee (yes it is possible) ( I slipped on ice)

These facts are quite limiting for apartment hunting especially in DC. So of course, it turned out to be quite the adventure. I ended up using the evil site known as Craigslist for help in addition to various other sites. I viewed  maybe twenty places and fifteen of the twenty were umm lets say "set ups". In honor of keeping this short, we'll discuss the craziest ones only.

Here's the one that came in second place for the crazy award--A woman advertised for a roommate for a two bedroom. Once I got there it was a one bedroom, she put her bed in the living room and told me I could take the bedroom. She also said that I would pay the rent and she would cover the utilities....how that seems logical is beyond me. I politely declined and left.

The one that came in first place is:
 A man in the middle of northeast who told me its about 400 a month for me to rent a room in one of the houses he owns...lets call him Captain Bob. Captain Bob told me his place is metro accessible, affordable and furnished.

First of all the train station is no where near the house! I had to take a 20 minute bus ride to the house after getting off the train AND walk a few blocks. Already feelin salty, I called him once I got to the cross streets he suggested. When I called, he told me he was in the grocery across the street from where I stood. So of course I hobble over on my crutches to the "grocery" which is actually a liquor store. I kid you not. Once I got there, he came out and met me and we went up the road to the property. Fast forward....we are now inside and the first thing I see is that there is a large living room with a bed, couch, desk and make shift closet in it. I ask why its there and he says that its his room but not to worry because he sleeps hard so I don't have to worry about waking him as I walk by. (the only way to enter/exit the house is to pass his bed). Just for kicks, I ask if he would put up a curtain or some sort of divider for privacy. He scratches his head, wrinkles his nose and replies ummm yea I guess I can do that.

Stifling my laughter, I proceed to view the rest of the house (just for the sake of it, I traveled so far you know?) The stairs are high and narrow with no type of railing or wall for safety. The floors are wooden and painted a fire engine red everywhere. The upsatirs hall is so narrow, I couldnt keep my crutches on to walk through and there are three bedrooms all of which use wooden slat closet doors as the bedroom door. The man couldn't even put in real doors! I step into the bedroom and its so small, If I sneeze, I'd hit my head on the next wall. (I swear!) The floor in the room shook when I stepped on it and trust me im a very tiny woman so nothing in this world shakes when I step usually. I turn to leave and he tells me that if I move in, my rent will increase after my first three months. I just looked at him and said good bye. I walked outside and called a cab immediately.

My search as you can see was no picnic but I survived and now live happily in a decent abode.

Standing in an Adams Morgan bar, waiting for my crew to arrive, I received a terrible phone call. One of my friends was just robbed! I left the bar and went to meet up with her. Luckily, she wasn't injured, and as we sat together, she told the story:

 We were to have a girls night out in Adams Morgan and she stopped at CVS to pick up something. Walking from the car to the store, passed a couple teenage boys, only for one to grab her purse. She grabbed it back but he held her down and grabbed it again. They fought back and forth, she called for help and eventually he seized the purse. He and his comrades ran off. Alas, the store security guard appears, aloof as can be, and she tells him she was robbed and they are getting away. He goes down the street to look for them (not even running, but walking). Surprisingly enough, he  failed to capture them. When the DC police arrived they assessed the situation and asked for a detailed description. While asking what the guy looked like, the cop asked if the culprit had "good hair". Why oh why must this officer show his ignorance? (sigh) He then proceeded to call her the wrong name (several times) despite her corrections. After the frustrating interview, several police officers gathered and stood around talking. They didn't search the streets or nearby alley for her purse or the thief nor did they escort her back to the car.

Living in a metropolitan area clearly has its perks as well as downfalls. Yes, we enjoy the benefits of a rich culture due to our diverse population, and seemingly faster paced lifestyle but we are faced at times with a higher likelihood of being a victim to crime. Unfortunately this may also yield a somewhat desensitized police force. (sigh) Not to knock the good cops out there but there are certain seeds out there...

Im very aware there are some awesome cops out there who do their job well ( I happen to know a couple) but there are some like the ones my poor friend had to deal with who don't seem to care.

Close your eyes and imagine...hot humid weather with a barely there breeze, sirens blaring, dirt blowin on the street as if we're in a old western, Ethiopian cab drivers asking YOU for directions, mormons in black suits on bicycles, hood rats in clown clothes struttin like theyre on the runway, hispanic old men makin kissy faces at u, ppl yellin on cellphones (apparently when on the phone, u MUST shout to be heard), busses taking hours to come and when they arrive there are two or more of the same exact bus bumper to bumper, men dressed in terrible drag, women dressed in men's clothing with shaved heads, prostitutes parading in broad daylight (not the pretty kind either), CD/DVD/socks/shoelace salesmen dragging their suitcases to you, crackhead usin his feet and hands to move his "wheelchair" (really a stolen office chair) up the street.......and a slew of campaigners standing on a corner asking you to help keep the current mayor in power....

While I had a temporary gig at a Caribbean Bakery, I must say I have heard some of the dumbest questions and experienced the dumbest complaints ever!!!! Here are some I remember:

Customer walks in, can't possibly miss the loud calypso music playing, or the big trini flags everywhere or the giant menu on the wall facing her...."yall got some mambo sauce n wings?" 


Other questions were:

Are yall open? (after person walks through door, lights are on and there's clearly a customer eating at the table by the door.)

Why dont u have donuts?

What is in the beef patty? (im pretty sure we call it beef just for the hell of it)

Is trinidad in jamaica? (my all time fave)

Customer number ten million  came in and complained the sodas weren't american...last time i checked there are at least four stores on the same block selling american drinks but she walked into the CARIBBEAN  place asking for AMERICAN drinks....

and there was the guy who asked for rice n stewed lentils minus the lentils.....as in rice with... water?

So this morning.......

 I babysat. I arrived a lil frazzled cuz I had to find an atm to get money to take the bus, only for the atm screen to be dim (as if my sight isnt already blurry enough)  anyhow I took out my 20 n went to the gas station to get it changed all while missing 3 busses. I finally get what I need and run to catch the 4th one to pass, caught it! rode it to work and you wouldnt believe what happened next......(cue mysterious music)

....Im left to care for a baby boy and his pet dog (mind you, I hate dogs)....the dog didnt bite me ....but it did manage to vomit all over the carpet and a little got on the boy's Dr. Seuss book (thank God for hard covers). Thoroughly grossed out, I moved the baby away and got plastic bags to clean it up (the vomit was solid) only......as I got closer......I see dark pink worms squiggling in it!!! I screamed, grabbed the baby and ran upstairs for safety!!

You see why I hate mornings?

Ok so... clearly I wasn't on lunch break that long. I told you i'm a procrastinator. Well, I'll fill you in on all the little quirks I meant to mention before I got distracted. Here's a list:

I spilled honey mustard on my white button up and tried to cover it with my hair, had a rip in my skirt I tried to cover with my hand (robo cop type of stance) and had to work both jobs in this ridiculous state.

I got caught in the rain and had my trusty umbrella plus ipod to keep me company. Well... lets just say my ipod has the best tunes cuz as I was jammin down the street, the wind so graciously lifted the back of my skirt!! It took a second for me to realise and yes people saw :(

I did the usual trip on the stupid DC brick sidewalk cuz the bricks are NEVER flat like they should be, while doin my strut down the street past some hot random guy.